Are we on the same page?
Could I see myself with him?
Is he serious about me?
When a man is serious about you, the signs aren’t always crystal clear. While having an open dialogue is the most effective way to find out, you may be afraid of misinterpreting his behavior. Making the first move is daunting, but it may be necessary to progress your relationship. Learn how to read signs he wants to be your boyfriend, so you can be sure you’re approaching the conversation at the right time. We have provided a list of 23 signs to help you answer the age-old question, “Does he want a relationship?”
What Does a Serious Relationship Mean to a Guy?
All men are different, so what one considers serious, another might view as a loose agreement. But most men know what you mean when you ask them, “Is it serious?” And if they are really serious, in the traditional sense of the word, here’s what it means to a guy:
He wants the relationship to be exclusive — for both of you. He is committed to working on the relationship and making it last. He views you as a potential long-term or marriage partner. He invests time and emotional energy into the health of the relationship. He can envision having children with you (if he and you want them).
How to Tell if a Guy Wants a Relationship or Just a Hook-Up
There are a hundred different stages between ‘single’ and ‘It’s time to change my Facebook status.’ Whether you’re hooking up, just talking, or going on regular dates, he may be dropping hints that he wants something more. How do you tell if a man wants a relationship? Frustratingly, the entire structure of dating relies on becoming a love detective. But not everyone is Sherlock Holmes, nor should your connection be so complicated. If both parties are open and honest about their feelings, you should be able to track the progression of your relationship more effectively. Unfortunately, human beings are rarely so transparent. If you’re ready to get serious, but can’t tell if he is, consider a few of these methods:
Pay attention to the little things. How often does he text you first? Do you spend most of your time together? Ask him outright. He may be wondering the same thing you are, waiting for the perfect moment to ask. There are no rules saying it can’t be you! Send a few signs yourself. Reverse engineer your own research process. Any sign you see listed here, try it out on him!
23 Signs He Wants A Relationship With You
1. He’s Opening Up More
If you have noticed your conversations growing deeper, that may mean he’s forming a close bond with you. That bond could be the beginning of a more serious relationship. Opening up about your past is often dependent on your level of trust. If he is sharing his inner world, then he is growing to trust you. Having that trust can make you more comfortable trusting him with your feelings. Don’t feel the need to put pressure on the situation. If you’re progressing naturally, follow the flow.
2. You’re Always Together
If he is going out of his way to spend quality time with you, your relationship may be growing more serious. It’s also important to consider the nature of that time spent together.
Are you comfortable together?
Are your dates full of laughter and conversation, or does it feel more casual?
What would that time look like if you were in a relationship?
If he is ready to take things to the next level, your answer might not be much different from what you’re doing now.
3. It Feels Easy and Natural
The best start to a relationship is one that feels natural — something as easy as falling. Things feel so right because they are headed in the right direction without ever having to push it there. The best thing you can do is to trust that process. If you recognize that your relationship is smooth sailing, don’t be afraid to steer. Trust your instincts, and be willing to open up about what you’re feeling. Conflict often comes from not being on the same page. If it has felt easy thus far, with little or no conflict, then he may be feeling the same way.
4. He Asks You to Be Exclusive
He may not be ready for a label, but you can be sure that he’s taking things seriously if he asks you not to see other people. There are many stages of a potential relationship, and this is certainly a step forward. If you want him to be your boyfriend, this conversation can give you the opening to ask his thoughts on the topic. Examine if labels are something you truly want. Would you be okay to start seeing each other exclusively and crossing the next bridge when you come to it?
5. The Chase is Over
One way to tell that he’s getting more serious about your relationship is if he has stopped playing games. His walls have come down, and he’s no longer playing it cool. What does this mean? Likely, he’s grown more comfortable with being himself around you. He’s no longer worried about what it says if he texts back too quickly, so you hear back from him in three minutes rather than three days. These small changes can be huge indicators of a future together.
6. He Prioritizes You Over Others
A good sign of a healthy, growing relationship is a sense of priority to one another. If things are serious, then his commitment to you will be his priority. Notice where he makes room for you in his life. Are you comfortable making that same space? Is it enough compared to how you feel?
7. His Future Plans Include You
When he wants a serious relationship with you, the way he talks about his future plans will change. This could start with a plan to vacation together or him asking you to be his date to a wedding. Eventually, you may start discussing even bigger plans, like moving in together or how many kids he wants one day. These conversations are fruitful in discovering where your relationship stands.
8. You Are Close to His Family and Friends
Have you met his best friends? Has he introduced you to his family? One sign that he’s growing closer to you is that he trusts you to form relationships with his loved ones. There is a lot to lose when you connect someone so intricately to your circle, as breaking up no longer means breaking one tie. Forming relationships with your family and friends is a commitment in itself.
9. He Wants to Be a Part of Your World
Introducing you to his friends and family is one thing, but showing a vested interest in getting to know yours is just as important. It shows that he wants to know you more deeply and be more connected to what makes you, well, you. Of all the signs he’s serious about you, this is an excellent indicator that he’s taking the initiative to move things forward.
10. He Finds Happiness in Making You Happy
Pay attention to how he responds when something makes you happy. Does he share in that joy with you? Perhaps he creates thoughtful moments to make you feel better. If he is doing those things, then he is showing a loving investment in your emotional world. If your happiness is his happiness, then he has carved out a space for you in his heart where he feels what you feel.
11. He Likes to Check In
When things are progressing, he may show his care for you by regularly texting and communicating with you. Sweet gestures like texting you first thing in the morning and last thing at night or sending you a meme to cheer up your workday shows that he thinks about you and carries you with him. These efforts could be signs that he’s ready to take you to the next level of your relationship, but it could also be the beginning of that process. Consider if you are okay with the rate you are progressing. Do you need more, or can you meet him where he is?
12. Kissing Becomes Casual
A kiss out the door on the way to work. A coffee breath kiss in the morning. Planting a wet one with a mouth half full of pizza. Once kissing becomes as normal as saying “hello,” you two are on the path toward relaxing into your relationship. These small intimacies are a considerable part of a loving relationship and reflect the growing bond you two share.
13. He Takes Interest in Your Passions
Sharing interests is a strong foundation for a partnership. But actively participating in interests you don’t typically have to understand your partner better shows a strong sense of connection. He loves your passions because he loves to see you passionate. He likes your interests because they bring out your light. Participating in those things with you makes him happy because he is experiencing what it means to be you.
14. He Isn’t Afraid of Labels
If he hasn’t shied away from referring to you as his girlfriend or labeling your connection, then he is signaling that your relationship is singularly important to him. Your time together has become so significant that there needs to be a decisive way to refer to it. This is an exciting new step in growing together.
15. You’ve Both Said “I Love You”
This is a huge sign. Maybe even the sign. If you’ve exchanged these words, you are likely in a very serious relationship. Examine what areas are lacking, or why that exchange didn’t settle any fears. Can you communicate those feelings to your partner? If he feels comfortable expressing his love to you, then try to open up about what you need. 68 Totally Relatable Quotes About New Relationships 11 Ways To Establish Equality In Your Romantic Relationship Differences Between Twin Flame Vs. Soulmate
16. You’re His Plus One
Going on dates together is one thing. You’re one on one in a romantic short-term break from reality. Plus-one dates often mean bringing each other into a less exciting, oftentimes stressful reality. Instead of creating your own little world together, you bring the other person into the world you already inhabit. Those worlds are often messy and unpredictable, full of little bits of ourselves that we’ve yet to reveal. There’s a reason inviting a date to a wedding feels so serious. It is.
17. His Date Plans Are Thoughtful
First dates tend to be fairly standard— first dinner and a movie, then a coffee here and a drink at a bar there. Your time together is scheduled but less personalized. Once you get to know each other, he may begin to plan dates that show how much he’s learned about you. Take a look at how your dates have progressed. Do they mirror how much you care about him?
18. He Wants To Start Traditions
Future planning isn’t just setting intentions for a potential life together but laying down stepping stones in the present. These stepping stones are the traditions you set now. A definite sign that he sees a future for you two is when he begins laying the path.
19. He Puts in the Work
One of the signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he starts taking the initiative with his emotional needs. Additionally, take notice when he doesn’t shy away from conflict resolution. When a guy isn’t serious about his relationship, he isn’t likely to invest time in fixing communication issues.
20. Introduces You to His Favorite Things
A date to his favorite brunch spot. A night in watching his favorite movie. A playlist of his favorite songs. If he’s shared a moment like this with you, he wants to share a part of his life with you. These little things add up to grand gestures. Take notice of the little things; they are often more valuable than broad strokes of sweeping romance.
21. You’re Comfortable in Silence Together
Comfort is a powerful indicator of care. Care nurtures and prospers vulnerability, the state which leads to love. When we are comfortable with someone, we are less inclined to fill the silence with jabber. Our words become intentional. Relationships become serious when we progress with intention.
22. Your Opinion is Important to Him
Consider how often he asks your opinion and truly takes it into account. One way to show you care is by recognizing that your actions and choices will both affect and reflect on your partner. Wanting a serious relationship means making room for your partner’s thoughts and opinions on those choices.
23. Things are Very Serious
“A rose by any other name…” Take a look at the functionings of your relationship. Now imagine what a serious relationship looks like to you. How much is there in common? Use that information to inform you about his feelings. Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes those words are scary to say out loud.
How Do You Ask a Guy If He Wants a Relationship?
You may be able to identify a few of these signs in your own relationship but are still unsure about how your guy feels. You aren’t cracking a case, and this isn’t Law and Order. While evidence is crucial in court, clues and signs can only bring you so far in a relationship. These signs can boost your confidence and help you negotiate your instincts as you prepare to communicate your feelings when it feels appropriate. Once you feel ready to take your relationship to the next step and open up about your wants, here are a few different ways to ask your man how he feels:
Ask him about the future. This opens the conversation to the future of your relationship. Learn how he communicates. A huge declaration of love may not be for everyone. Some people want a quiet setting for these conversations, while some may need to take time to process their feelings on their own. Work it out with a friend. Talk through what you plan to say with a friend. Let them boost your confidence, and be there as support.
Do you see any signs he’s ready for a relationship with you? Remember that you are in control of your feelings, and your needs deserve the same respect as you give to your partner’s needs. When navigating the rocky waters of a new relationship, allow yourself to take control and steer when you need to and relinquish the wheel when help is offered. The sky ahead may seem unclear, but if you trust in your partnership and go with the flow, you’ll find yourself on solid ground.
